Wednesday, January 7, 2009

The Walk Down The Aisle Part-2

She wanted to preserve this moment forever, live it to its fullest. She wanted to learn each and every detail, each and every feeling as well as she knew his face and then after the passing of the moment, embalm the memories and stow them away in a corner of her mind. A corner with dust and cobwebs, a corner which should never see the light of conscious or subconscious thought again. A corner where she would never allow herself to go again. Some things are best left undisturbed and forgotten.

Looking at the speedily darkening golden sky her mind drifted back towards another memory of another day two years ago…

* * *

They had just seen the end of their first fight and to celebrate they were going to their favorite coffee-house. It had been over something very small but somehow they had managed to treat it in the exact wrong manner to make it a full blown fight, their first fight. They had decided to meet at their usual spot on the beach road but she had not been their on time. With her characteristic lack of clairvoyance she had not taken traffic into consideration and had ended up being two hours late...

She stepped out of the cab checking her arsenal for every apology she could think of ready to bombard him with them and demolish his anger. However when she saw him what she encountered was a cold stare, not angry, not anymore just cold and resigned. She barely opened her mouth and uttered a syllable of her fairly detailed apology when he said “So you finally did come? I was beginning to wonder whether you were going to even inform me if you had decided not to bother with it at all. I know you think that I have no other work or the least consideration of my time since I spend it being in love with you and if I am as useless as that let me wait. What difference do a couple of hours make to my life”? She knew that he had the right to be angry but that didn’t mean that it didn’t hurt her. When they had just started going out, she would say that he must be pretty useless because he was going out with someone like her and then beam with pleasure when he would reply that it was completely absurd of her to think like this and tell her how wonderful she was.

His words hurt her more than they should have because deep down she knew that she just said it to hear him deny it, and how much she wanted it to be true. Angry and unreasonably disappointed she retorted without thinking. She said “ well I have no intention of wasting any more of your excess of free time so please just go away never to come again and believe me I will not bother you anymore”. She turned around. He was not supposed to see the tears welling up in her eyes. Walking briskly towards the first cab she saw, she clutched her handbag tightly. He was not supposed to see her trembling hands too. It was not until she got into the cab that the tears started falling…

Two whole, long, painful days passed but he did not call. She didn’t call him either. She had picked up the phone innumerable times, sometimes even dialed the number, but had hung up each time. Her own words were not letting her find peace anywhere. She had never been as happy as when she was with him and now she knew that she had never been this upset too. They had promised each other that they would stay together and happy forever, but she had broken it. She couldn’t help thinking that only she could be so obtuse and devoid of an instinct of self preservation to lose something so precious.

The third morning she decided that she could not stay in the house and look at the disappointing, beastly phone for another second. She took a cab and went to the library intending to bury the memory of that last meeting in some deep dark corner of her mind, under tons of information from an encyclopedia or a bundle of latest gadget magazines, never to be remembered again. The attempt was pretty futile and ineffective and by noon she had started wishing that libraries were noisier places.

When she reached home she saw the red light blinking on her answering machine. With a racing heart she pressed the button. The message was from him, infact her inbox was full of his messages. She stayed there just long enough to hear the last message say that he was waiting at their usual spot on the beach road and would continue to wait as long as it takes her, because life without her did not make sense and after all he had plenty of free time.

Luckily the traffic was light and half an hour later both of them were leaning on the rail towards the sea. Their fingers were loosely entwined, just an assurance that they were together. She smiled to herself when she remembered his torrent of apologies for hurting her and how similar it had been to the words which had stumbled out of her mouth, roughly meaning that she was an idiot. But now everything was well, the setting sun marked the close of a beautiful day. The music of the waves and the silence of the sun’s movements somehow belonged together. But the best of all was the knowledge that the sun would rise again the next day and they would still be together, happy, precious…together.

* * *

She was not so sure now. Was this the last sunset? How could it never rise again? In all its stillness and silence it still belonged with the waves but then maybe she was singularly unfortunate…may be it was the last time only for her. The sea would still have its sun which would keep on rising and setting each day…maybe it wasn’t so obtuse and devoid of an instinct of self preservation that it would lose something so precious, so perfect, so essential…


  1. OMG !! i myself am beginning to feel uneasy.. don't write so well Vasu, its nearly brutal...

    Just one request - give this story a magnificent, rosy, grand, happy closure.. please!!

  2. oops well the close i have in mind isn't all might wanna call it unexpected. its strange, i thought of the close first then came up with the story and all these other parts have tried my patience to the fullest coz what i really wanna write is the end.

  3. ab to lagta hai ki is raat ki sach me subah nahi. apne readers ka dhyaan to rakhna chahiye na. i really want to see the end of it and the reason behind their breakup & just anything u write... but complete to karo yaar. nahi to aisa karo, mujhe copyright de do. i'd want to complete it...

    BTW, are u coming up with a book or novel or anything in the near future? Coz i really feel u must.